A sad time is upon us...

I wear the pants in my sexual relationships. But that's just a formality because- Actually on second thought I have no problem with not wearing pants.

Age 31, Male

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A sad time is upon us...

Posted by CapnChaos - September 17th, 2011

Long gone are the days of my constant Newgrounds posts. It's been fun, but unfortunately, I will continue to be rather inactive on here. Put simply, I have better things to do. This is not to say that I will never be on here again, but rather an official announcement of my inactivity.

That said, what kind of things have you all been up to?

I recently got "Dead Island" for PS3. It's really fun. A lot of good, wholesome, zombie killing fun.

Think of it as a kind of a cross between Left 4 Dead, and Dead Rising. Only in first person. It's not bad, give it a try.

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STALKERClock 2011-09-19 15:22:48

I don't know what happened. We started off as close friends, now we seem to be more further apart than ever. I'll still be active every now and then but I might not have a lot to talk about.

CapnChaos 2011-09-19 15:22:48

A lot of it with me is that I moved to a rural area, and the internet is, at best, terrible.

It's a pain to deal with, and as such, I've been more focused on non-computer hobbies.

Another thing is just that I don't have much to say on here. I'm not a great conversation starter. If I have things to discuss, it's a different story, but with free time being sparse lately, I don't feel motivated to get on and blog about stuff anymore.

STALKERClock 2011-09-19 15:24:13

Say Capn, have you ever played Dead Space?

CapnChaos 2011-09-19 15:24:13

No, but I've heard good things, and it's a series I plan to play.

Rusty 2011-09-23 11:43:26

You see now I have to figure out what's been going on in my life recently. Really, I have no fucking clue. My entire year has been uneventful.

I had kidney stones recently, I hope that'll start a conversation. Felt a horrible pain in my penis everytime I pissed and occassionly got a really bad sharp pain in my abdomen. Went to the doctor, found out I had kidney stones.

And if you know what Kidney Stones are, you know that your two options are:

1) Getting Surgery.

2) Passing small crystal-like things...through your penis. And it hurts like a bitch.

Take a good guess which one I picked.

CapnChaos 2011-09-23 11:43:26 (Updated 2011-09-24 23:04:10)

I'm guessing the former... I know lot's of people who have had kidney stones, and it sounds very unpleasant.

Severe abdomen pain is no stranger to me. once, following surgery on my arm, I had a small, non-severe infection afterwards. It was supposed to be no problem, however one of my Lymph Nodes in the er, lower abdomen area was inflamed for a long time. It made everyday tasks torturous, and i Imagine kidney stones are a similar pain.

The penis pain, however, is something I don't now or ever plan on experiencing.

I also know about the whole figuring out life thing recently. I have to decide on a post-secondary education to decide my life's career forever, i have to arrange living arrangements, and somehow have to pay for it all.

Unfortunately, Canada doesn't have Government funded College yet, unlike the UK, so being a student here is stupid.

Not a situation I'm happy to be in.

Rusty 2011-09-30 19:15:08

It's like feeling something try to shoot out your penis, only it's much, much too big so it just stings like fuck.

CapnChaos 2011-09-30 19:15:08

Luckily there are no women here to lecture us on the pain of childbirth.

Rusty 2011-10-01 22:13:53

A vagina is a stretchable orifice. A penis is not and the hole is much, MUCH smaller.

Large Kidney Stones passing naturally > Childbirth.

Although, most sane people just get surgery in Kidney Stones. Still my point stands for anyone who lived before the 20th Century.

CapnChaos 2011-10-01 22:13:53

Yes, exactly. If women want special sympathy and treatment, they should quit their bitching about equal rights.

Rusty 2011-10-04 06:42:49

The above statement is approved.

Rusty 2011-10-08 21:57:53

Plan for World Domination 1:

Build Time Machine.

Manipulate History Records to say that I'm a direct descendant of King David himself and thus have a divine right to be the English King. (Note: Although there is a theory that the 12 tribes of Israel went to Britain and the Royal Family has a divine right from God Almighty himself to rule England, they have no proof, I however will forge proof thus claiming the throne for myself. And my ancestors I guess.)

Kill that idiot that screwed up Guy Fawkes's plan before he screws it up. (Thus, no Parliament. Which means, no incompetent Upper-Middle Class Oxford University Graduated money-steal corrupt twits running the country. And most importantly, no Democracy in The United Kingdom. Which naturally means we will be ruled by a Absolute Monarchy instead of a Constitutional Monarchy.)

Cause Mass Genocide of all French. (Sorry, I know you're like half French and this will prevent your existence entirely. But I will admit, I have a slight racist hatred of you for having any association with the French being both Italian-Descended and British. So fuck you! Anyway, this will mean that the Colonial Rebellions will be fucked without the help of the Meddling Bastards That Are The French, so the U.S.A. will never exist.)

Kill Hitler as a Child. (Thus, World War Two will never happen. And The British Empire will not be destroyed. Oh, and I've just prevented the killing of millions of Jews and prevented the Germans from ever becoming powerful again. Go me.)

Mass Genocide all of Russia! (Sorry STALKER, your country is a threat to my power!)

Go back to Modern Times and take over the entire world completely unopposed. The U.N. was never formed. The U.S.A. is just another part of Canada which combined made The British Empire even more powerfuler.

Then, I sit on my Royal Ass and enjoy life and rule as an Enlightened World King and Time Lord...

Rusty 2011-10-08 21:58:42

Constructive Criticism? Suggestions?

CapnChaos 2011-10-08 21:58:42 (Updated 2011-10-09 14:46:06)

Well, it's a pretty air-tight plan, assuming you have access to a time machine. Further thought also leads me to assume you have a means of conveyance, as well as living arrangements set up in the past, to carry out the deeds your plan entails. My suggestion to you would be to secure a number of gold ingots while in the present, as in earlier times, gold is an almost universal trading good, and an early version of currency.

Now, a concern I do have is the destruction of France and it's people. Since their existence in general has proven necessary to a number of historical events, including the creation of Canada, it may be wise to carefully select a time in which to cause aforementioned genocide. Depending on when you do it, I may still exist after your plan is followed through.

One more thing is to make sure that none of the great technological advancements made during WWII are used in the creation of your time machine, thus ensuring that no paradoxes are created, and your time-travel is safe.

Rusty 2011-10-12 11:36:03

Great. First, I just need to travel to the future to acquire a time machine and then...Wait. Oh, silly of me. I'll have to invent one.

Rusty 2011-10-12 11:45:37

Wait. I just got an idea, I'll carve an ad onto the Statue of Liberty saying "Need Time Machine can pay major $$$$. 21st Century, 2011. October 18th. Liverpool, England. Meet at Town Hall at 4:12pm GMT."

When the Time Machine salesman shows up, I'll kill him and take his Machine.

Rusty 2011-10-12 11:47:55

Speaking of which, you also may prefer to be dead considering you'll probably be drilling for Oil for the glory of King John the Brilliant. (I'll change Jack to John to make it more official sounding.)

CapnChaos 2011-10-12 11:47:55

Would the flag still be the Union Jack, or is that to be changed as well?

Rusty 2011-10-13 11:00:13

Sure, whatever. But modified with a picture of Earth in the middle. To represent our Global Domination.

CapnChaos 2011-10-13 11:00:13

The Union John.

Rusty 2011-10-14 12:12:05

Meh, my name will still technically be Jack privately.

CapnChaos 2011-10-14 12:12:05

What kind of ruler would you be anyway?

Although a plan for world domination sounds evil enough, it may not be too bad.

As far as I can tell just from knowing you, you have a good knowledge of history as well as politics. That said, you would of course know that you can't just become a tyrant, as you'd be overthrown violently.

With good leadership and speaking skills, backed up with a good plan, centralised global leadership could work.

Rusty 2011-10-16 00:25:04

Not too bad actually. I'd make sure nobody is a threat to my power. Make sure all fictional things that glorify revolutions are banned and historical revolutions are degloryified as vile traitors to they're fair and just leaders. History won't be changed, but I'd make it's a little biased when you read about George Washington. Historians would be told to focus on they're bad side and try not to mention the good they caused.

I wouldn't really be a Totalitarian, private matters would stay private. Public matters would be public. People will still have many civil rights and freedoms. Health Care will be free but payed for with Taxes. I've got to keep those Upper Class twits out of power somehow. And excessive tax will do just that! People will have fair wages according to they're job, etc.

War will be non-existent, since they're only one nation. Until we develop Space Flight and find other Sentient Species. But then we'll just nuke the fuckers homeplanet. I've always had a good theory that the human race is the only race in the galaxy that was stupid and vicious enough to develop Nukes.

Law Enforcement would be strong and harsh, crime non-existent.
I'd just be your typical Absolute Benevolent Hereditary Dictator. At first, my reign will be brutal. And Setting examples, removing people from power with brute force etc. But then when my power is completely secure I'll start using my Absolute control over the world for everyone's benefit.

Except The French. I had them all gassed.

CapnChaos 2011-10-16 00:25:04

Their* times about like 4 or 5.

Rusty 2011-10-18 16:55:11

It's my birthday. What'd you get me?

CapnChaos 2011-10-18 16:55:11

COCKSMACK!

Rusty 2011-11-16 10:45:18

This isn't what I wanted! NOOOOOOOOOO!

A sad time is upon us...

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